How to Stop Comparing and Love Your Body
Have you ever found yourself looking through a magazine and agonizing over the fact that you will never look like a certain celebrity? What about looking at someone’s Facebook page and wishing you could be more like them, or at least get into their impressive yoga pose? I know I have.
It took me years to understand that comparing myself to others contributed to some major unhappiness. When you constantly compare yourself to others, you are almost always left with a feeling of inadequacy. In our Western culture, we are surrounded by reality TV and social media, which puts a huge pressure on us to be “perfect”.
One summer afternoon, at the age of six, while playing Barbies with my sister, I overheard our nanny telling her friend how perfectly proportioned Barbie’s body was. For the first time in my life, I gave the doll a second look. She does have perfectly long, slender legs and a super tiny waist, I thought to myself. I then went on with my afternoon of playing dolls, just as innocently as any six year old would do, and did not really give it a second thought.
FROM BARBIE TO BEYONCÉ
The next day, while running through the sprinklers, I felt my thighs touch. I suddenly felt a sense of disgust overtake me. My body was not perfect. I was flawed. Little did I know that this belief, I had developed about my body, would stick with me for years to come.
Throughout my grammar school years, I loved to look at the magazines in the grocery store check-out isles as my mom paid for the groceries. I distinctly remember noticing that none of the beautiful celebrities’ thighs even came close to touching. They had tiny waistlines and the most glamorous clothes. I loved studying their bodies, their clothes, hair and makeup. When I compared myself to them, in my mind, I was far from measuring up.
When I reached high school, a curvaceous new celebrity rolled onto the cover of the magazines that I so religiously studied. Her name was Beyoncé. She had radiant skin and hair and was practically worshiped on magazine covers for her curves. Rather than feel like it was finally okay to have curves, I instead felt a sense of confusion. The media was telling me it was okay to have curves, yet everywhere I looked they still showed only stick thin celebrities and models.
As a result of this confusion, I began to break away from what the world was telling me to look like. Today I accept that there is no such thing as “perfect”. What is “perfect” anyways? Is Barbie’s body perfect, is Beyoncé’s or is yours? When we feel good about ourselves and stop comparing ourselves to others, leading a healthy, happy life becomes much easier!
About the Author
5 Ways to Let Go of Negative Beliefs
Any of the thoughts you think that make you feel low or ‘less than’ are lies. Don’t believe them!
Most of what holds us back from living how we truly want is believing the lies of our unconscious self. These lies can include thoughts like, “I’m not good enough, I don’t know how, I am not smart enough, nobody will like or accept me…” These lies are often planted like seeds early on in life, whether it be from a traumatic experience (life is painful), a bully at school (I’m not worthy), an abusive parent (I’m unlovable), teachers or authority figures (I have no power), and many other ways.
Here’s the thing: If you are feeling low, down on yourself, in the fog, or like there is something wrong with you, then you have accepted a lie as truth. It is up to you to actually go within, tear the lie up by its roots, accept fully where you’re at and choose what you really want to believe about yourself and life. Truth be told, life is ultimately good. People are too. However, these deep-rooted lies we take on cloud our perception and cause us to do less than awesome stuff to ourselves, the earth, each other, and with our lives.
We get a choice in the matter though. We don’t have to believe everything we think. But how can we know what story is playing out if we never take the time to listen? This is where meditation and presence practices come in. We must take 100% responsibility for ourselves and get off autopilot.
If you’re ready to feel empowered and confident, then it’s time to take your power back from the beliefs that have taken power over you. How? Start looking for and finding the goodness within yourself, the goodness within humanity and the goodness within life. It might seem difficult at first because of your clouded perception, but the more good you find, the more your old belief systems about life and yourself will begin to fall away.
5 Ways to Let Go of Negative Beliefs and Feel Lighter Now
Gratitude: Giving thanks for every little thing is a powerful way to lift the veil of despair and open up to how abundantly blessed you truly are. It might take some searching at first, but once you find a few things to be grateful for the momentum will build. Count the Blessings: Say to yourself everyday, “I am committed to experiencing the goodness of life” and then as you go about your day, take note of every kind act and every little miracle. Write them down. What you focus on is magnified, so by focusing on the goodness of life, you will begin to witness just how beautiful life really is. Affirmations: Ultimately, it’s up to you to choose what you want to believe about yourself. If you have felt unlovable up until now and you want to know what it feels like to be 100% loveable (which you are) then it is up to you to start affirming that new state for yourself. Looking in the mirror at yourself for five minutes everyday and stating, “I am loveable, I accept myself” is a powerful exercise that I’ve done for years! New Habits: So because you’ve been believing some lies about yourself, chances are you have created some unhealthy habits to match the frequency of lies you’ve been accepting. Now that you’re starting to get clear on the state of being you’re choosing to affirm for yourself and your life, begin to add awesome new habits and practices to your life. It can be simple little changes like ten minutes of silence or meditation, drinking an extra two glasses of water per day, going for a walk around the block, reading something inspiring instead of watching TV or basically any of the other passions you have that you’ve been pushing away. Release the Voice of Pain: It’s okay to feel grief, sadness, anger or anything else like that. It’s okay to be pissed at the injustice of your past. Something that has helped me heal all the unheard voices of my inner child is to write in my journal from my voice of pain. Writing letters to the people who have caused you harm or to yourself for causing you harm is a great practice. You can also write to yourself and affirm your beauty, your greatness and the love that you are. Little love notes to yourself everyday will go a long way. Journaling is a powerful practice. Any art that allows that voice of pain to be acknowledged and transmuted will bring so much lightness to your life.
It’s all the little things we do that add up to the big things in life. Take time to be with yourself every day because truly your inner power comes from being present, connected and grounded within.
