The Space Between
We sat facing each other, a few paces between us, on simple wooden chairs. Her white dress billowed onto the floor. This was the first and last time we would meet. We raised our heads simultaneously until our gazes met. There were no words exchanged, no gestures, no cordial smiles. And we sat there, immersed in the simple yet profound act of looking into another’s eyes, and simply being.
In that moment, both time and space softened their hard edges. There was no delineation where my physical body ended and hers began… only vibrating energy. The experience was cathartic, and in many ways altered the course of my adult life. I struggled to comprehend how the simple act of looking someone in the eyes, of just connecting with another human being, could so easily rattle my understanding of time, space, and human interaction.
Was her energy so penetrating that she was able to shift my perception of the world as I know it? Or was it perhaps just the act itself that opened a door within me that was previously locked? (with a deadbolt, nonetheless) The only thing I was certain of, were the changes that began happening as a result. Seeking to understand and recreate the experience, I started experimenting with some unconventional forms of meditation. My relationships began to shift, as I started actively seeking out those who understood deeper levels of communication, or who were open enough to try. My partner and I, on an Icelandic road-trip, began experimenting with our own comfort levels regarding space and silence (if you’re going to get weird, Iceland’s the place to do it). Even my yoga practice changed, as I began discovering a calm rhythm within me, guiding my movements.
The space between two people is a fascinating concept. We have all experienced the feeling of an awkward silence (I am no exception). Why is it awkward? Could the silence perhaps be more intimate than the chatter? What exactly are we uncomfortable with?
In some schools of yogic thought, it is said that when one meditates; it is the space between thoughts where one begins to find a glimpse of inner peace. As yogis, we cultivate that space until the thoughts become less and less obtrusive, and the space between them becomes vast.
If the space between two thoughts is where we find our bliss, could the space between two people, when thoughtfully considered, lead us down the same path?
About the Author
5 Tips to Reclaim Your Calm
Stress and anxiety have become everyday realities, especially over the last year. In fact, a survey conducted in 2020 reported that 62% of adult respondents reported experiencing anxiety on a regular basis. But what if it didn’t have to be that way?
Yoga, breathwork, and meditation can create a foundation of synchronicity in your body that allows you to regain control of your life in a way that calms your sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight response) and supports an overarching sense of calmness in our chaotic world.
These practices, while not a panacea for anxiety, can improve stress response, and have been clinically proven to do so. A recent study at New York University Grossman School of Medicine discovered that in a group of randomly selected people with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), 54% met the criteria for “meaningfully improved symptoms,” after practicing yoga.
So, what can you do to reclaim a peaceful mind and life? Here are 5 tips to get you started:
1.) Develop a regular physical yoga practice (or re-commit if you already have one)
All types of physical exercise are beneficial for decreasing stress response by improving the health of the cardiovascular system (also potentially reducing the risk of heart disease) and releasing endorphins. Yoga, however, offers a special twist of calmness and relaxation while still allowing an exertion of physical effort, creating a fertile environment to build self-awareness through mindful movement.
Because of the flexibility and strength gained through regular practice, joint and muscle pain may also be soothed through a physical yoga practice (also called Asana) by reducing stressors related to pain responses in the body. Over time, and with dedicated practice, these benefits add up dramatically, even to the point of correcting scoliosis or reducing heart palpitations. Vinyasa or Yin yoga are generally the most beneficial practices for these physical benefits.
One common misconception about yoga is that you must practice for an hour to benefit. This fallacy was derived from the fact that studio classes often run for an hour. Any amount of time spent practicing physical yoga counts, whether it be 10, 60, 90 minutes, or more!
2.) Practice 5-10 minutes of breathwork
Breathwork (or Pranayama) can be easily overlooked, even by seasoned yoga practitioners, but it is one of the most beneficial aspects of your practice. How we breathe is often directly correlated to how we feel; short and shallow breathing makes us feel closed off and more anxious, whereas long, mindful breathing creates a sense of abundance, while also promoting a more meditative and mindful state. Taking as few as five minutes a day to breathe deeply and mindfully can literally re-oxygenate the mind and body. This allows more clarity and direction in everyday scenarios, and (with the use of some specific practices, like this one), can create a space of time between a personal cause and retort, transforming reactions into more thoughtful responses.
