The Importance of Solitude: Reconnecting With Your Inner Self
Our lives are so inundated with communication it’s overwhelming – text messages, emails, phone calls, the internet. And we’ve read a million articles reminding us how addicted we are to these things, yet it’s difficult to free ourselves from the clutches of these distractions. Maybe, it’s time to consider the benefits of solitude and carve out time to isolate ourselves from the interminable notifications of our interconnected world.
Sitting with One’s Thoughts: A Shocking Statistic
In 2014, a study published in the journal Science found that most people would rather shock themselves than sit undisturbed with their thoughts. Even after experiencing the shock before the trial and saying they would pay money not to be shocked again, 25 percent of women and 67 percent of men chose to shock themselves while sitting alone for 15 minutes. One of the participants even decided to shock himself 190 times in that period, but that person’s masochism is beside the point.
Unsurprisingly, results showed the majority of subjects did not enjoy their time sitting alone and being asked to simply think. Half of these participants rated their experience at, or below, a level of “somewhat enjoyable,” while most ranked it highly on a boredom scale.
Why is it so difficult for us to go inward and block out external stimuli? One theory claims it’s an evolutionary survival mechanism. Known as the Scanner Hypothesis, some researchers believe that as mammals we’ve evolved to monitor our environments for both danger and opportunity. Therefore, our brains consider doing nothing a waste of time.
But we evolved to be more than mere mammals behaving on natural instinct, or at least we have the ability to transcend those instincts if we consciously choose to do so. That’s what separates man from beast, right?
Unfortunately, our lives aren’t always conducive to the ascetic lifestyle, and taking a sabbatical to go live like a certain civilly disobedient poet at Walden Pond isn’t always in the cards. So, what can the average person do to escape the torpor of our stimulus saturated society?
Unplugging from Technology
How many times have you been waiting in line at the store, or sitting in a waiting room scrolling through social media before realizing you’ve retained almost nothing you just consumed? Think about it next time you’re casually scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, try to remember what you saw five posts ago – our mindless consumption is scary sometimes.
Alas, we must stay connected — we’re expected to. But if we devote an entire hour every day to rid ourselves of those connections, the psychological benefits may be pleasantly surprising.
The next step is to sit alone with your monkey mind, as the Buddhists refer to it, and go inward. Not so shockingly, the minority of subjects in the aforementioned study who enjoyed spending 15 minutes doing nothing, often had experience with meditation. Learning to accept the endless flow of thoughts and opinions crowding our minds is the first hurdle of meditation and mindfulness, and it’s not easy. But there’s no learning or achievement in anything easy. The work is in the pain and struggle; that’s the only way to grow and accomplish anything in life.
Sensory Deprivation Tanks a.k.a. Isolation Tanks
John C. Lilly invented the sensory deprivation tank in 1954 in an attempt to isolate the mind from all external stimuli. Lilly was interested in studying the depths of our psyche, and throughout his life frequently transcended numerous realms of consciousness. He even devised a scale for it based on the Buddhist enlightenment concept of Satori.
Today, sensory deprivation tanks have seen an explosion in popularity, especially over the past decade. Filled with hundreds of pounds of salt, these tanks allow for maximum buoyancy and are typically pitch black. Users experience disorienting weightlessness, where physical sensation disappears, leaving only the mind.
Most find float tanks pleasant and therapeutic; an environment for introspection, meditation, and tranquility. This abandonment of all sensory perception can lead to psychedelic experiences and profound personal insight. And floating around in a dark tub of water prohibits technological distraction, forcing the confrontation of the monkey mind.
Retreats and Isolation from Society
Those in need of a life-changing event or paradigm shift may need to devote a little more effort to finding solitude. Silent retreats are one way to disconnect from the world and they’ve become increasingly popular with the rise of Eastern spiritual practices in the Western world. Participants in these retreats take a vow of silence for days or weeks in order to go inward, while also cultivating self-discipline.
Jesse Itzler took the isolation retreat to the next level by temporarily living in a monastery in upstate New York. Itzler’s goal was to radically disconnect himself from the chaos of modern society and his fast-paced life as a successful entrepreneur. So, he spent two weeks living among a group of Russian Orthodox monks who spent much of their day in silent contemplation.
On his first night at 6:00 p.m., Itzler was brought to a modest room called a cell, with nothing but a desk and a bed. He was told to be ready the following day for prayer, meditation, and reflection at 7:15 a.m. Asking what he was supposed to do in the 13 hours until then, he was simply told to think.
Itzler had some experience with meditation, so to assuage his initial anxiety and boredom, he did so. After closing his eyes and attempting to silence his mind, Itzler believed he had meditated for hours until he looked at his watch and realized only three-and-a-half minutes had elapsed. Thus, began the longest two weeks of his life. In the end, he said the disconnection from society changed him for the better and improved personal relationships with his wife, family, and friends. But it wasn’t easy.
No matter which method is best for you, the scientific benefits of solitude and disconnection from the world are countless. Solitude is proven to boost productivity, build mental acuity, increase empathy, and harbor creativity. So, whether you decide to commit an hour, day, week, or even months to finding your solitude and reconnecting with your inner self… do it, especially if it’s difficult.
Watch Hide Away, a movie telling the story of a successful, but emotionally drained businessman who finds solitude on a journey into the refuge of nature:
About the Author
Shamanic Soul Retrieval: How to Recover Parts of Our Soul?
Shamanic Soul Retrieval: Sandra Ingerman on Recovering Parts of Our Soul
“Every book…has a soul. The soul of the person who wrote it and of those who read it and lived and dreamed with it. Every time a book changes hands, every time someone runs his eyes down its pages, its spirit grows and strengthens.” ~ Carlos Ruis Zafon
It has been said, “The best things in life are free.” We can all agree it’s nice to be surprised with a gift, but not just any gift. The gift that arrives in your life precisely when you are ready to receive it. The gift is clearly a message to you and for you.
In this case, the gift is Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self by Sandra Ingerman.
With graceful delivery of rarely discussed phenomena, Soul Retrieval: Mending the Fragmented Self combines shamanism and psychology to explain the effects of trauma that cause parts of the soul to leave the body and the process by which the part(s) can be retrieved.
Follow along as renowned psychotherapist, shamanic teacher, and author Sandra Ingerman delves into soul loss and retrieval.
What is Soul Loss?
Sandra Ingerman’s Abstract on Shamanism states that “there are many common symptoms of soul loss. Some of the more common ones would be dissociation, where a person does not feel fully in his or her body and alive and fully engaged in life. Other symptoms include chronic depression, suicidal tendencies, post-traumatic stress syndrome, immune deficiency problems, and grief that just does not heal. Addictions are also a sign of soul loss.”
For those who have lost parts of themselves, knowingly or unknowingly, “tremendous amounts of psychic energy” are unconsciously spent looking for the lost parts.
What Causes Soul Loss?
According to Ingerman, “The basic premise is whenever we experience trauma, a part of our vital essence separates from us in order to survive the experience by escaping the full impact of the pain.” This quiet occurrence, known as soul loss, takes the form of a perpetual feeling and experience of incompleteness and disconnection.
Ingerman says, “Anytime someone says, ‘I have never been the same’ since a certain traumatic event, and they don’t mean this in a good way, soul loss has probably occurred.”
Sandra Ingerman on Lost Soul Parts
Sandra Ingerman holds a master’s degree in counseling psychology from the California Institute of Integral Studies. She is a licensed marriage and family therapist, professional mental health counselor, the author of more than ten books, and a board-certified expert on traumatic stress who was awarded the 2007 Peace Award from the Global Foundation for Integrative Medicine.
As a leading authority on soul loss and retrieval, Ingerman’s highly regarded career spans 35 years of conducting workshops and soul retrievals around the world.
For Ingerman, the leading practitioner of soul retrieval whose own spiritual journey to recapture her soul led her on various spiritual paths. The answer she found was in the ancient tradition of shamanism, which views soul loss as an important cause of illness and death.
The word shaman, originating from the Tungus Tribe of Siberia, means “one who sees in the dark.”
Soul Loss in Society
According to Ingerman, “A reflection of how much soul loss people are dealing with” is evident when “so many governments and businesses are valuing money over life.”
However, Western medicine has no framework for this kind of diagnosis because it only deals with imbalance when it appears on a physical and mental level.
Western medicine “treats chronic pain with pain medication, insomnia with sleeping pills, weight issues with diet and exercise, and most damagingly, may label soul loss as mental illness and cover up the symptoms with psychiatric medications that may make things worse by slapping a Band-Aid on a wound that’s not healing underneath the bandage.”
This “covering up” can lead to the deep unhappiness that many have come to consider as “simply ordinary.” Eventually, this prolonged dissociation produces a nameless void that shows itself through “a loss of meaning, direction, vitality, mission, purpose, identity, and genuine connection.”
This spiritual void, which is always present and always trying to get your attention, operates as the incessant yearning of your soul wanting to incorporate all of its highest qualities, all of God’s essence, all of you.
Simply put, the soul is always trying to reconnect with that from which it came.
Ingerman imparts, “If you are truly in your body (your whole soul present), you cannot place money over life. Planetary soul loss causes so much of the behavior we are currently seeing, behavior that no longer honors the beauty and importance of life.”
Signs of Soul Loss
The following checklist can help identify symptoms of soul loss:
- You have a difficult time staying “present” in your body
- You feel numb, apathetic, or deadened
- You suffer from chronic depression
- You have problems with your immune system and have trouble resisting illness
- You were chronically ill as a child
- Memory gaps of your life after age five where you sense that you may have blacked out significant traumatic experiences
- Struggle with addictions, for example, to alcohol, drugs, food, sex or gambling
- Find yourself looking to external things to fill up an internal void or emptiness
- Have difficulty moving on with your life after a divorce or the death of a loved one
- You suffer from multiple personality syndrome
Having read this book without prior knowledge of soul loss or retrieval, I found the concepts quite sobering.
Within situations of physical and emotional abuse, negation, and trauma, many experiences in life can be too difficult to bear. Soul loss is an understandable response to spiritual woundedness and deep fragmentation of one’s soul essence that would lead to an internal dissociation from natural balance.
What is Soul Retrieval?
During the soul retrieval process, the shaman moves into an altered state of consciousness to travel to realities outside of normal perception (non-ordinary reality), also known as hidden spirit worlds, to retrieve the lost part of the soul.
In some cases, there is reluctance of the soul fragments to return, or the soul may not even know a separation has occurred. While in most cases, the soul does want to return and become whole. It is, however, important to note that when the “soul returns, it comes back with all the pain it experienced when leaving.”
Once the lost soul pieces are located, the shaman will “acknowledge the former pain and gently negotiate the soul’s return to the body.” The shaman then brings the soul back to normal reality and (literally) blows the missing soul part(s) back into the body through the head or heart.
If a person is trained in shamanic journeying, they can ask their spirit guides or power animals to perform a soul retrieval on their behalf. Or anyone can ask for a healing dream where one sets the intention to request a soul retrieval to be performed during the dream state.
If these two processes do not create change or healing, then working with a trained shamanic practitioner is recommended.
Although Ingerman is clear that you should not try to practice soul retrieval based solely on the reading of this book, in an exclusive interview, Ingerman and I discuss what can be done when someone suspects soul loss has occurred.
Shamanic Healing Practice Interview
BJB: What can someone do if they suspect soul loss has occurred but do not have immediate access for soul retrieval with a Shaman?
SI: If a person has soul loss, they can work with a shamanic practitioner long distance. Most shamanic practitioners perform long-distance healings these days.
I have been training Soul Retrieval practitioners since the late 1980’s. I have a website where I have an international list of shamanic practitioners who have sent me case studies. Of course, no shamanic practitioner can ever promise a cure, but I know their work, and I trust them.
BJB: Is there a healing exercise the person can do to begin to address and/or heal the root cause of the soul loss?
SI: Nature is our greatest healer. A person who feels they have lost their soul can walk or lie down on the ground and reflect on what is the root cause of their soul loss.
You can also do automatic writing. This includes listening to spiritual music while writing the following question on a piece of paper: “What is the root cause of my soul loss?”
You then close your eyes and allow your hand to write. This is a powerful way to let your soul and intuition give you the truth of the cause of your soul loss and other information that is important for you to know.
BJB: What has been the most surprising or unexpected part of your work as a Shaman?
SI: All of my Shamanic work is a surprise.
The helping spirits never give expected responses to the questions I ask them. This is true also when I perform the healing journey for a client. I am always given information I did not expect or would rationally think of on my own.
Also, in my 35 years of working with clients, I continue to be surprised by the miraculous effects of the work.
Power of Ancient Shamanic Practices
The shaman’s toolbox is a personal and intimate gathering of powers. Some shamans learned through direct experience, others gleaned knowledge from master teachers like Sandra, and some are gifted in journeying to the depths of spirit realms.
A few tools are so foundational that nearly every shaman utilizes them. Soul retrieval is one such tool. Not only is it universally effective, but it’s also the pervasive root cause of illness overlooked by many in the medical field.
Soul retrieval is not a modern New Age therapy but a profound healing tradition practiced for thousands of years. It involves the reintegration of lost soul parts, that’s akin to the surgical reattachment of a body part but for our spiritual essence instead. By recovering these lost soul parts, individuals can restore wholeness and harmony within themselves.
The Most Important Factor in Personal Healing
Soul retrieval is not a quick fix. Sandra Ingerman states, “If the person has done a lot of personal work, the soul retrieval might be the end of the work. If not, the soul retrieval would be the beginning of the work.”
No matter where you may find yourself, at the beginning or near the end of working through an issue, the most important factor in all healing work is you.
You have to be willing to do the work that is necessary to participate in your personal transformation. You will have to be willing to look at yourself with new eyes, from a new shamanic perspective, and as an embodiment of completion and wholeness while knowing that willingness is the impetus for great change, which always begins with the heart.
For more information on Sandra Ingerman’s work, log onto SandraIngerman.com.
You can also learn more by watching this interview on Gaia.com with Jill Kuykendall on soul retrieval.
